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7 Best ways to improve your relationship


Preamble

Do you think you value your relationship enough?

Many are having challenges in their relationship these days because of the unknown or half knowledge of how a good relationship should really be.

    We all face different challenges in our relationships, and we also react to them according to our knowledge and maturity. But those that have enough knowledge and are well matured better manage their relationship because of what they know and practice daily.



    In this article, I’m discussing with us what it really means to value your relationship /marriage.


    Please make sure you read till the end and share your consent in the comment section below. “Thanks in advance”


    Whatever you don’t value will deprecate in no time. Your actions and reactions towards something / someone you value or not is what speaks louder that even a deaf and dump can quickly see the truth, if you truly are saying what’s on your mind or just pretending. But if your actions oppose your words, it means you either are deceiving yourself or someone else.


    “Action speaks louder than a voice” (psychologist’s trick)


    I think a lady and a guy who have been in a relationship for at least six months should be able to say some facts about each other.


    Hope you’re with me?


    My Opinion: If you date someone for six months and you can’t really say something about that person (his / her personality) then you are not serious with the relationship, and it's simply not meant for you.




    That’s means if your partner is faking his or her love or the love is standing with only one leg, you should know if you are sensitive enough.


    Most couples gradually make some mistakes that later have a significant effect in their relationship, in the future, and these mistakes mostly occur between couples who have started having children.


    What are these common mistakes among couples?


    #1) They focus more on their children, work and money more than themselves.


    #2) They ignorantly take themselves for granted because of familiarity.


    #3) Always finding a way to get back at each other.


    #4) Lack of communication: They don’t communicate regularly and effectively.


    All these are the causes of the reactions I’ll later share below, and they are the things I’ll encourage couples to avoid doing to each other in order to sustain a quality relationship and make their love to one another forever young, even till their old ages.


    A short Story of a Couple


    I want to share a short story of a couple. Who were almost twenty years old in marriage. 


    Suddenly, this particular couple started having problems in their relationship. They argued almost every hour, and they argued almost over every issue. 


    This continued for a long time and both of them were even thinking of divorce, because what was on the wife’s mind was that her husband had really changed. 


    She thought in her heart : “I’m nothing to him, he doesn’t seem to care about me anymore, he talks to me anyway he wants, even in the presence of my children. The only time he talks to me as a gentleman he used to be when we just got married is whenever he wants sex. In fact, I’m done with him.



    The husband too, on the other hand, was thinking; She is too proud; she doesn’t obey me, not giving me any attention, it’s only the children that matter to her, just imagine, she’ll be dressing like an old woman, and the worse of all, she won't call me for sex, and she’ll always have excuses why she won’t be able to have sex with me whenever I call. In fact, this woman has pissed me off and I don’t think I can cope with her anymore.



    Those were their complaints.


    — I continue --


    (You ask: was i hearing their thoughts?. 

    No, all those were their complaints after they met a marriage counselor, whom was introduced to them by one of the husband’s friend)


    But according to the counselor’s response, the four common mistakes of many couples, I shared above were the reasons for their problems and the couple too also reacted wrongly to it, that’s why they seem to have unsolvable problems, and it kept escalating daily.


    What were their reactions?


    1. They condemn each other at slight mistakes, or when the husband or wife is angry, he/she condemns the other in words and actions.

    2. They condemn their marriage: This happens when the husband or wife is saying; I regret I got married to you.

    3. They hold grudges with each other, avoiding each other for too long. Some can stay like that for one, two months or even more. No communication at all.

    4. They kept fighting, shouting at each other, almost every day. 

    5. They sleep in separate rooms and in separate beds.

    6. They stopped loving and respecting each other: Not respecting your spouse is equal to hatred. If you must correct, please do so in love, avoid abusing your spouse physically or mentally.

    7. They diverted their love for each other to something else. This happens mostly on the side of women. Most times when a lady starts giving birth, she partially forgets the husband and all she focuses on is her children. Some other times, when there’s a fight between couples, some women try to replace the love they have for their husband for the children, some will even convince the children to hate their father.This is evil.



    Now, for you to avoid the mistakes of this couple that I shared their story above, you must do the contrary to what they did. The same 7 things I listed above are what you must avoid to save your own relationship / marriage from unnecessary heartaches and give MR PEACE a chance to conveniently Breath in your home.


    To help you understand me better, I’ll list them again properly, and with instructions, as to what you must avoid.


    Here are what you must avoid if you truly value your relationship / marriage.


    1. Avoid condemning your marriage when there’s a fight between you and your spouse: It’s just an argument which will end soon, but the words you altered out of your mouth may still have an effect in your marriage in the future.mind what you say when you are angry with your spouse or with a situation in your relationship or marriage because those negative words may start coming to pass when you least expect it. And who loses?

    2.  Avoid condemning your Spouse for any reason and stop saying you regret getting married to her / him. Find a way to solve the problems between you too.

    3. Avoid holding grudges with your spouse : It’s not good at all there won’t be peace and unity in a house where there is malice and grudges.

    4.  Avoid fighting with your spouse over every issue: Fighting is definitely not the solution to issues. Learn to solve every issue that arises amicably. It’s also not good if a third party must come to solve it for you. Learn to forgive and forget easily so you can enjoy your marriage.

    5. Don’t separate the bed with your spouse for any reason : You can have as many rooms as you want, but don’t have separate beds for whatever reason. Always sleep on the same bed.

    6. Love and Respect your Spouse : Love is an action word, and you can only express your love for the person you are showing it to, by respecting him or her, even in your anger.

    7.  Maintain the love you both have for each other in the beginning: Always remember the beginning of your love and relationship. Sometimes we unconsciously behave as not having much interest in our spouse, and this happens because we seem to be too familiar to each other, and this shouldn’t be. I can understand that the urge, the fantasies we had for each other could possibly reduce because of our familiarity, but it’s not good for you to make the mistake of shifting the love you have for your partner to your child or children, when he/she is still alive, and both of you are still together, because whether or not you accept, all your children will leave both of you one day and move to their own marital home, and you’ll become the secondary family (the extended family) automatically, by this particular time those children (you exchanged the first love you had for your spouse for) will focus primarily on their own family. Just imaging...


    how will your home / the relationship between you and your spouse be by that time?

     (The time which you alt to enjoy mostly with your spouse)


    Do you wish to find a solution to this?

    Then try these 3 things..

    (1). Always renew your love (renew your vows)

    (2). Always renew your trust for each other

    (3). And Practice it.



    Conclusion


    It’s easier to keep the flames of love burning if couples are always conscious about showing genuine love to each other, respect each other, consider each other before making any decision, and always work on building their friendship. With these, they can make their love unquenchable.

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